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AITA for not allowing my friend to bring a plus-one to my wedding?

Writer's picture: Auburn & CharlesAuburn & Charles


Hello, wedding planners and dreamers!


We're thrilled to announce the return of our "Am I the Asshole?" series, where we tackle your toughest wedding dilemmas head-on.


Whether you're wrestling with etiquette quandaries, venue headaches, or any other wedding-related puzzle, we're here to provide clarity and guidance. Send us a DM on Instagram with your anonymous wedding scenarios, and our dedicated team of wedding planners will deliver expert advice and practical tips to ease your worries.


Your wedding happiness is our priority, and we're committed to helping you navigate through any challenges you may face. Stay tuned as we showcase your stories and offer insights that could transform your wedding planning journey. Don't hesitate—DM us today with your wedding dilemmas, and your question could be featured in our next blog post!


Question: "I invited my friend to my wedding without a plus-one, as we have a limited guest list and budget. She's upset because she wanted to bring a date. I feel bad, but I couldn't accommodate everyone with a plus-one. Am I being unreasonable?"


Wedding Planner's Response:

Hello! Managing guest lists and plus-ones can be a challenging aspect of wedding planning, especially when balancing budget and venue capacity considerations.


Here are some tips for handling plus-one requests:

  • Set Clear Guidelines: Decide early on whether you'll be allowing plus-ones for guests, and communicate this clearly on your invitations. This helps manage expectations from the beginning.

  • Consider Individual Circumstances: If possible, prioritize plus-ones for guests in long-term relationships or who may not know many other attendees. This can enhance their experience and make them feel more comfortable.

  • Explain Your Decision: If a friend expresses disappointment about not having a plus-one, kindly explain the reasons behind your decision. Most guests will understand that you have limitations to consider.

  • Offer Alternatives: If space or budget allows closer to the event, consider inviting a few additional guests or suggesting other ways your friend can be comfortable and enjoy the event. Instead, you could:

  1. Encourage Social Interaction: Ensure that your friend is seated with other people she knows or with guests who have similar interests. This can help her feel more at ease and enjoy the celebration without a plus-one.

  2. Plan Group Activities: Organize pre-wedding or post-wedding gatherings where friends can bring dates. This offers a more casual environment for socializing and includes their partners in the celebration, even if they can't attend the main event.

  3. Host a Virtual Component: If you're comfortable with it, consider streaming part of your wedding for those who couldn't bring a plus-one or attend in person. This allows them to share in your special day without adding to your guest count.

  4. Express Gratitude: Let your friend know how much her presence means to you. Sometimes, understanding the emotional and logistical constraints can help soften any disappointment.


Remember, it's your wedding day, and you have the right to make decisions that align with your vision and constraints. By being transparent, considerate, and communicative, you can manage expectations and maintain positive relationships with your guests. Balancing these factors can help ensure your special day is joyous and memorable for everyone involved.

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