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AITA for having a small wedding and not inviting extended family?

Writer's picture: Auburn & CharlesAuburn & Charles


Hello, wedding wizards!


Are you facing a wedding planning dilemma that's got you scratching your head? From tricky family dynamics to budget battles, we're here to lend a helping hand.


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Question : "My fiancé and I have decided to have a small, intimate wedding with only our closest friends and immediate family members. We want to keep the celebration intimate and meaningful. Some of our extended family members are hurt and feel excluded. Are we being selfish in not inviting everyone?"


Wedding Planner's Response:

Hello! Choosing to have a small wedding is a perfectly valid decision that many couples make to create a more personal and intimate atmosphere.


Here are some tips to handle an intimate wedding graciously:

  1. Communicate Early: Let your extended family members know about your decision as soon as possible. Explain that you value their presence but have opted for a smaller gathering to keep the celebration intimate.

  2. Consider Celebrating Later: If feasible, plan a separate gathering or celebration with extended family members after the wedding. This can be a way to include them in your joyous occasion while maintaining the intimacy of your wedding day.

  3. Focus on Quality Time: Emphasize the opportunity for meaningful connections and interactions with your closest loved ones during the wedding. This can help reassure extended family members of your intentions.

  4. Be Kind and Understanding: Understand that some family members may feel disappointed initially. Express your gratitude and explain that your decision was made with careful consideration of what would make your wedding day most special.


Ultimately, it's important to prioritize what feels right for you as a couple while acknowledging the feelings of those around you. By communicating openly and with empathy, you can navigate this situation with grace and ensure that your wedding day is a reflection of your love and values.


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